Funny Quotes From Kong Skull Island

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James Conrad: An uncharted island? Let me list all they ways you gonna die. Rain, heat, mud, disease carrying flies and mosquitoes. Sure you could load up on the Atabrine for the malaria... but what about the other bacteria? And we haven't even started on the things that want to eat you alive.

[after credits]

James Conrad: You just gonna sit there? In the dark? You're enjoying this, right? Is this fun for you? I promise I won't tell the Russians.

Mason Weaver: I promise *I* will tell the Russians.

James Conrad: She's gonna tell the Russians.

[throws pencil at the reverse mirror]

James Conrad: Why are you keeping us here?

Mason Weaver: I want to go home.

James Conrad: We get it. There was no island. We were never on an island.

Houston Brooks: [enters the room] Island? What island?

James Conrad: Brooks, what the hell is going on?

Houston Brooks: Welcome to MONARCH. This island is just the beginning.

San: There's more out there.

James Conrad: What do you mean more?

Houston Brooks: This world never belonged to us. It belonged to them. The question is, how long before they take it back. Kong is not the only king.

[Godzilla roars]

Preston Packard: [Walking up to Randa] How you doing?

Bill Randa: I'm fine, thank you.

Preston Packard: Good. Glad to hear it. I was worried about you.

[Sits, draws gun, points it at Randa]

Preston Packard: You are going to tell me everything I don't know, or I'm gonna blow your head off.

Bill Randa: Monsters exist.

Preston Packard: No shit.

Bill Randa: Nobody believed me. Yesterday, I was a crackpot. But today?

Preston Packard: So this was never about geology. You dropped those charges to flush something out. Who are you?

Bill Randa: You heard of the U.S.S. Lawton? Neither did the public. Out of a thousand young men on that ship I was the only survivor. They told my family she was sunk in battle but I know what I saw. It had no conscience. No reasoning. Just destroy. I spent the last 30 years trying to prove the truth of what I learned that day. This planet doesn't belong to us. Ancient species owned this Earth long before mankind; and if we keep our heads buried in the sand, they will take it back. My agency is known as MONARCH. We specialize in the hunting of Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organisms.

Preston Packard: You knew that thing was out here?

Bill Randa: I'm sorry for your men, Colonel, I truly am. Get us home, with proof - so that we can send the cavalry.

Preston Packard: [Stands, holsters gun, turns, walks away] I am the cavalry.

Hank Marlow: Kong's a pretty good king. Keeps to himself, mostly. This is his home, we're just guests. But you don't go into someone's house and start dropping bombs, unless you're picking a fight.

[Preston's squad flies through a storm]

Preston Packard: And remember the story of Icarus, whose father gave him wings of wax. Warned him not to fly too close to the sun. But the exhilaration was too great. So he flew higher and higher, until the sun melted his wings, and he fell into the sea. The US Army is not an irresponsible father. So they gave us wings of hot Pennsylvania steel, guaranteed not to melt.

James Conrad: I suppose no man comes home from war. Not really.

[last lines]

Hank Marlow: [looks at his wife's picture, sings softly] We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when...

Mills: We just got taken down by a monkey the size of a building!

Cole: Yeah. That was an unconventional encounter.

Preston Packard: Two years in country. Where you been?

Mason Weaver: Embedded with MACV-SOG.

Preston Packard: [chuckles] Ah, you were in the shit. I respect that. But it's people like you lost us support back home.

Mason Weaver: You're not actually gonna blame the people without guns for losing the war, are you?

Preston Packard: Camera's way more dangerous than a gun. And we didn't lose the war; we abandoned it.

Mason Weaver: Right.

[scoffs]

Hank Marlow: [to the soldiers] This is a good group of boys. We're all gonna die together out here. You're a good group of boys to die with, I'll tell you that much.

[laughing]

Hank Marlow: You shouldn't have come here.

Jack Chapman: [after seeing Kong from a helicopter] Is that a monkey?

Jack Chapman: [last words] Dear Billy, sometimes life'll just punch ya in the balls.

Hank Marlow: [Looks at Bill Randa] Sometime's there's no enemy until you look for one.

Hank Marlow: This man's name was Gunpei Ikari. If you take away the uniforms and the war, then he became my brother.

[choked up]

Hank Marlow: And we swore we'd never leave each other behind.

[pause, then sternly]

Hank Marlow: Let's get off this island.

Hank Marlow: People here used to live in fear, from everything. Then something strange happened: some of the monsters here started protecting them from the other monsters trying to kill them.

Cole: You ever heard the story of the mouse, the lion, and the thorn?

Mills: Yeah?

Cole: There you go, then. In case we ever see that primate again.

Mills: You do know that story is about a mouse becoming friends with the lion after taking the thorn out of his paw though, right?

Cole: No it's not. The mouse kills the lion with the thorn.

Mills: [Slaps away mosquito] Who told you that, Cole?

Cole: My mother.

Mills: [pause] That actually explains a lot.

Preston Packard: [last words, to Kong] Die, you motherf...

[Kong crushes him]

Preston Packard: [upon seeing a leafwing through the scope of a rifle] That's one ugly-ass bird.

Preston Packard: We're soldiers, we do the dirty work so that families back home don't suffer! They shouldn't even know that a thing like this exists!

Mason Weaver: The world is bigger than this.

Preston Packard: Bitch, please!

Slivko: Who'd win, tigers or cubs?

Hank Marlow: A tiger would win, obviously. A cub's just a baby bear. Now wait till the bear gets bigger...

[first lines]

Bill Randa: Mark my words. There'll never be a more screwed up time in Washington. But we can't let it stop us.

Bill Randa: Captain James Conrad, commander of the air - commander of the sky.

Mills: [during helicopter readiness checklist] He's taking the lead. That means he miss his bed. I miss my bed. Don't you miss your bed?

[Cole not answering]

Mills: Do you even have a bed, Cole? You got a bed, right?

Bill Randa: [after Cole Throws Cigarette Away Causing an Explosion] 'Watch Those Fumes Idiots'.

Mason Weaver: Did you crash here?

Hank Marlow: Oh. Sorry, miss. Lieutenant Hank Marlow of the 45th. Put the old flight suit on for you. You are more beautiful than a hot dog and a beer at Wrigley Field on opening day.

[imagines holding a hot dog]

Hank Marlow: But you're real. Right?

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3731562/quotes/qt3319522

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